21A005 A Letter to Rubes by Jim Davies, 2/2/2021
So, in 2016 you had your revolt, but now it's over. America is normal again. This reminds you of the way things are.
We, your wise and benevolent rulers, are smarter than you are; so quite properly you bought Us each a higher education, so that We are able to run the country. You will do the work, We will show you how. That's Nature's sensible division of labor. You will of course be free to keep a good portion (which We will determine) of what you earn for your own use, and most of what We do take will be used for your own collective benefit, as We arrange a proper distribution of resources, to bring the greatest happiness to the greatest number.
You are of course free to express your views (does not the sacred Amendment 1 say that very thing?) so long as you don't call for another revolt. Understand though that to speak freely doesn't give you a TV or radio station or newspaper; We own all the big ones in the interest of collective harmony and if you want one, you'll need to build it and submit to Us a licence application. Also understand that if you say things (eg on the Net) that are too disturbing, you may be de-platformed. In extreme cases We will place you in confinement, for the common good. Understand for example: We can't have people announcing there's no law compelling payment of income tax, just because it's true; that would undermine the stability of society.
You're also perfectly free to vote in elections, for that's a bedrock of democracy. Just bear in mind, though, that We will determine the results in advance. That's necessary, to prevent all manner of chaos. Don't worry, we'll be as fair as we can, to all reasonable sides and viewpoints and call for "Unity." Naturally, the hard job of deciding what's "reasonable" will fall upon Us, for We have the training to handle it.
Whenever you want to meet and protest some perceived injustice, just let Us know and We'll assign a Free Speech Zone at a time that won't inconvenience others.
It's our earnest wish to provide for you the greatest possible care of every kind. We'll train your children, free of charge; any who need special help will receive it and any who show unusual ability will be offered opportunities to join Us. We'll make sure to keep you as healthy as medical science allows, again without charge - though We've a little more work to do on that. Help Us, please.
We'll protect you from foreign threats, by maintaining the finest military forces ever built, and We'll ensure that its brave volunteers are honored and rewarded - especially if they don't survive.
A word of warning, if We may. For such a large and beneficial society to work smoothly it's essential that you obey as well as trust Us. Obedience is key. Without it there would be chaos. So if one of Our Agents should give you an order, do as he says; don't run away, like Walter Scott did in 2015, and got himself killed. A better known example is the 1993 case in Waco, TX; the problem there was not that David Koresh may have infringed the rules about gun trading, but that he and his supporters refused to obey Our agents when they demanded access to find out for sure. 84 of them died as a result, and as President Biden said at the time, "David Koresh and the Davidians set fire to themselves and committed suicide. Government did not do that."
A similar warning: pay no heed to the few who say that the kind of well organized, compassionate society described above is wrong; that all we need is for everyone to do his own thing without direction from above. That's obviously nonsense, it would be chaotic; you and We know very well that every society needs rules. These "anarchists" are becoming a nuisance, and We'll have to suppress them soon. So, be sure to stay clear, won't you?
Our whole MAWA team sincerely wishes each of you a contented and productive New Year.