Shut It Down!
by Jim Davies, 4/8/2011
The Republicrats who pretend to worry about spending our money
are threatening to shut down the FedGov today if they can't, like
a couple of spoiled brats, each get their way about whether to
the spend by 1% or by 2%. Just in case any of them seek my
advice, I say: shut down the lot, and trim it 100%.
But if that seems for some reason too radical, by all means
shut some of it down. It's terrible that you steal so much of our
money, but what is worse is the use to which you put it. Steal it
if you must and then burn the loot; that would be better than
spending it the ways you do. However, let the shut down be a real
shut down, don't play games with this. Do it right, just as if
you meant it. It's hard, I know - but go ahead, imagine and try.
Last time (in 1995) you closed down just the bits likely to
cause most nuisance, like parks and passport offices. The
latter meant that if one had an urgent trip in view, to the Old
Country for Christmas for example, one might have to scrap the
plans. This rapidly coralled support for paying what the greedier
thieves were demanding and opening the doors again. This time, no
more nonsense like that, please!
Shut down the lot, but if you must pick and choose, begin with
the departments we can most easily do without. Here's a starter list:
- The IRS. This is the most-detested department of all
government, we'll be happy to see it closed, permanently.
- The DEA. We're going through hard times, so moods need a
little extra enhancing - without harassment.
- The Pentagon. It's true that a few brown folk actually
thanked you last month, but that's an aberration; overall
the US war machine has done us dreadful harm worldwide
and we'd really much rather do without it.
- The Federal Reserve. I know, it's not strictly a
government department but before you quit for your
vacation you can quickly enact a repeal of the 1913 Act
that set it up, and it will vanish. Don't worry, we'll
fast figure out what to use for money, in place of its
pretty green paper.
- The TSA. This should follow closure of the
Pentagon, because the world's terrorists must first see
proof of serious intent to leave them alone; but when
that's done, no airport screening will be needed and we
can get back to civilized travel.
- Speaking of travel, yes you can close the passport office
with pleasure but first (again, before you go)
repeal all laws that mandate passports in the first place
and send off an email to all foreign governments to give
them notice that your agreements with them are cancelled.
Should take about 5 minutes.
- While you're at it, National Parks can close too, by all
means - but be sure the staff open their gates
before going home. The land belongs to us, remember, not
to you. We can enjoy it without your help, at our own
- Social Security. True, some of us depend on it but it's a
terrible system that badly needs scrapping altogether and
provided you close the IRS first, most of us will get
help from our families who no longer have to pay us under
compulsion through them and the SS.
Those suggestions will keep you busy for a couple of days.
After that, enjoy your ill-earned rest, and don't hurry back.
Your feedback, please!
Had enough GOVERNMENT yet?